I have a troll!
Yes, that’s right. Less than a week into my blogging career and there’s already someone out there in social media land who has made it their business to climb onto my case.
Whilst normally such a discovery would send normal mortals into a frenzy, it’s safe to say that if anything, I’m actually quite flattered that someone thinks I’m important enough to be bothered with. Although it’s also safe to say that it’s fairly obvious that whoever is involved in this madness doesn’t actually know me personally. After all, I am actually not bothered about being fat nor am I adverse to the odd bout of masturbation so being called a fat wanker isn’t exactly wide of the mark, nor is it particularly hurtful.
Similarly, the mate I’ve been accused of betraying would willingly pay good money to any sad soul prepared to take his pig of a wife off his hands and anyone who has ever met my sister would know that she is more than capable of giving most blokes a decent kicking. Especially her little brother.
My only real concern involves the motives behind it. After all if the plan is to either worry me or simply piss me off, it’s failing badly. Similarly, the notion of revenge suggests that I’ve actually done something worthy of that and if I have, I can’t think what it might be and surely I’d know! That doesn’t leave much scope for an objective unless it’s someone setting me up for something. The question is what? And why? And who?
Normally, my first thought would be that it’s one of my mates but since they all regard me as a twat anyway (and visa versa) they wouldn’t have any problem going public with that opinion. They certainly haven’t in the past. And to be honest, the only one of our group with both the imagination and mental capacity to initiate a sting of this kind is me and I know I’m desperate, but not even I’m likely to troll myself. Besides, I’d know.
It could of course be something else entirely. What if it’s my mum, or my sister? Finally giving public airing to long harboured thoughts about her only son/brother? Or my dad? Mind you he’s never been too shy when it comes to slagging me off so that at least is unlikely.
Of course it could have quite the opposite meaning and instead of being a troll, be some love-struck female who is too shy to actually come out and admit to having lustful thoughts about me. Then again, if that were the case it’s highly likely that their apparent shyness is a result of their looks and/or personality and who would want that?
No, the most likely truth is that I simply have a crap troll. But whatever it is, sure as eggs is eggs it’s going to run and run.
This blog is based on the best-selling novel, Billy’s Log, which can be downloaded from Amazon by clicking here!
Sequel is on the way!
comedy, humour, brimson, writing, author, screenwriting, greenstreet, bridget jones, revenge, sperm, hate crime, troll, trolling